Haha! Vader geeft via Instagram een inkijkje in het leven met vier(!) dochters

Another monday, another last minute rush to the shops to avoid the armageddon I.e running out of nappies, wipes & baby crack (milk) for the addicts. I basically live in this aisle of the supermarket now. New parents seem to gravitate to me as an “experienced parent” (i.e. the tired looking guy shivering in the corner) and ask “do you know where so and so is please?” My reponse – “Sure 3rd shelf, half way down on the left hand side, buy 3 & get a discount,although you want to use that in combination with blah blah blah.” I’m like a walking encyclopaedia of baby product info. I used to use my brain to solve global corporate wide problems. I now use it to calculate bulk buy discounts. #ishouldgetanamebadge #bogofking #iliveherenojoke #dadbrain #lifeinthefastlane #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

Een bericht gedeeld door Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) op 7 Nov 2016 om 12:45 PST

2. Een ochtendje uitslapen zit er ook niet meer in.

Is it only me or do all men learn to sleep on an 8 inch strip at the edge of the bed? Irrespective of the size of the bed, or how many people are in it, I always find myself relegated to the ‘man zone’. I’ve become so used to sleeping on this limited area of bed real estate, that I’m confident that I could sleep on top of a wall & not fall off. On the other side of the bed (the promised land), @mother_of_daughters sleeps like a star fish all night long, kneeing me in the back and generally complains about me coming to bed too late, being too cold or my foot encroaching onto her territory. At least the bed’s nice and warm, even if the reception isn’t sometimes! I hope that next Sunday, on #NationalLieInDay, I’ll not only gain another hour in bed, but more space – but it’s doubtful ! If you want to regain that hour (and some space for that matter) click in the link in my bio, loads of great prizes to be won @SimbaSleep #bedrealestate #livingontheedge #girls #twins #daughters #therestoomanygirls #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #gopro

Een bericht gedeeld door Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) op 23 Okt 2016 om 12:00 PDT

3. Speeltijd kan soms best heftig zijn.

Someone call crime watch! I took this picture of a guy getting mugged in broad day light today. The 2 confidence tricksters are known in the local area and ply their trade by pretending to love their victims and then, when their guard is down, scratching their faces to pieces, pulling their hair and dribbling on them until they are given milk or rice cakes. The suspects are described as looking exactly the same, to the degree that their father cant tell them apart. They are around 2.5 ft tall, talk with a strange accent and are incredibly cute. Some previous victims had said they smell like a childrens play centre toilets but that has yet to be confirmed. #muggedbybabies #twins #parentinginjuries #thelmaandlouiseinthemaking #callcrimewatch #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

Een bericht gedeeld door Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) op 6 Okt 2016 om 1:17 PDT

4. Met vier dochters door de accessoire-afdeling. Ontsnappen uit Alcatraz is nog makkelijker.

What do you get if you cross claires accessories with 4 girls, 2 of whom who have just drank a coke, and a tired dad? 10 minutes of dressing up followed by 20 minutes of trying to get them to leave. There’s just too many of them, you get one and the other sods off to hide in the hair bands – I can hear the giggling, I just can’t see them through the haze of pink and sparkles. At least i found the tiara i was after. I look Bangin’! #lostinhairbands #whydidweagreetocomehere #herdingcats #isuitatiara #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #twins #pink #dontforgetdads

Een bericht gedeeld door Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) op 13 Jun 2016 om 12:34 PDT

5. Als vader van vier dochters ontkom je niet aan de lastige vragen.

This week my eldest has been doing sex education at school. Shes very mature about it & having a midwife as a mum, they know a lot more than your average kid, no ‘front bottoms’ or ‘nunnys’ in this house, it’s strictly a ‘vagina’ affair (which coincidently would be a great title for a drama series on TV) That said, she’s chosen tonight (when @mother_of_daughters is away) to ask questions about men which makes me feel like an embarrassed child, but i promised to tell her the truth. My personal favourites – “do you wear a condom daddy?” Me – “Yes”. Then why do you have so many children? Touchè. “Have you and mummy had sex more than 3 times?” I laughed proudly – “Way more……like at least 9 or 10 times” ( I didn’t want to come across as a sex crazied maniac). #sexeducation #shestheadultimthechild #sheknowsmorethanme #dontaskaboutmasturbationorilldie #ivedoneitloads #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #parenting

Een bericht gedeeld door Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) op 10 Nov 2016 om 1:02 PST

6. Soms voel je je letterlijk overspoeld.

we have A LOT of toys for the girls. Some hand-me-downs, some brand new. We offer up the hand made, ethically sourced, non toxic, bespoke blocks made from organic, carbon offset wood, lovingly sourced from Norway. They look down their nose at them with disgust, decide they’re tosh and toss them to one side. Then they go on a rampage to find keys, my wallet, my phone, anything that resembles a remote control and plastic packaging. If that fails, they bug me until i give up the goods. Many mornings, you’ll find me running around the house, quietly cursing the babies, who’ve hidden my cash / debit card and /or keys. guess I should get used to this as I hear teenage girls take the same stuff. #stophidingmyshit #pointlessexpensivetoys #allthebabieswantismywallet #girlstakemystuff #ishouldgetusedtoit #fatherofdaughters#dadlife #instadad

Een bericht gedeeld door Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) op 27 Okt 2016 om 12:31 PDT

7. Soms werkt gehuil aanstekelijk.

Teething is now in full effect and the girls want us to know all about it. An email would have sufficed but it seems they’d rather use their voices to get the message across that they really aren’t enjoying this stage of development. Its not straight screaming, it’s more like the sound a wounded animal might make that just wants to end it all. I can’t blame them though, it’s like a mini scene from ‘Alien’ in there at the moment, just in very very slow motion (and of course teeth don’t then go on to kill you and the crew of your ship so a few subtle differences but essentially the same). #canyoubulkbuybonjela #teethinglikealien #twins #thisisntfunforanyone #doubleteethingisnotdoublethefun #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #daddydentist

Een bericht gedeeld door Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) op 21 Sep 2016 om 1:06 PDT

8. De ochtenden beginnen vaak véél te vroeg.

Day 2 since the clocks changed and the girls are still not adjusted (anyone else struggling with this?!) So at 6.30am, while Ottie & Delilah studied ‘farm yard biology for beginnners’ with mixed success (I said point to the cow, they laughed, clapped & crawled off to chew stuff in the bin), Marnie provided me with a fluid stream of incomprehensible child brain rambling for 5 mins straight at max volume (without noticeably breathing). Morning voices seem not to exist in our house. All this while @mother_of_daughters hid in the shower. Clever woman. #leavethebinalone #hideintheshower #halfofwhatshesaidwerejustrandomwords #myearsarebleeding #morning #maxvolumetalking #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

Een bericht gedeeld door Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) op 1 Nov 2016 om 1:28 PDT

9. Maar ze zijn geweldig, die meiden.

Tomorrow is international day of the girl and I, more than most, am celebrating. I might be heavily outnumbered and outgunned, but I’m celebrating because my girls are strong independent young ladies that are growing up in a world that they can do anything they put their mind to (with a little encouragement). We strive for equality and see women as equals (and in my case, as superiors!). That said, in many places girls are seen as second class citizens and have limited opportunities to reach their full potential. This has to change. Go kiss your girls goodnight & encourage them everyday to reach for the stars. Tag a strong girl and share. #mygirlswearthetrousers #daughters #dayofthegirl #girlsareequals #girlsarestrong #sisters #mygirls #girlsareamazing #beproudofyoudaughters #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife

Een bericht gedeeld door Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) op 10 Okt 2016 om 12:39 PDT

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Bron: Instagram