Lees ook: 3 minuten in het hoofd van een 2-jarige (wij kwamen niet meer bij)
1. Katten, 2-jarigen, een pot nat
Get off the table. Stay away from the trash. Stop licking old pizza. Don’t play in the litter.
-Me, talking to my 2yo, not my cat — Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) 27 februari 2016
2. Je begint je toch ernstig af te vragen of die vitaminepillen wel echt vitaminepillen zijn…
My 2-year-old is running around the house naked and screaming, “No, monkeys! No!”
Being a toddler is a lot like a bad acid trip. — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 19 februari 2017
3. Er bestaat immers geen betere test
“So can you tell us what makes you qualified for the position of hostage negotiator?”
“I have a 2 year old.” “You’re hired.” — full metal mommy (@FullMetalMommy) 4 mei 2015
4. Wachten tot je een ons weegt
A dog once waited in the same spot for 9 years for his dead master
My 2-year-old is doing the same thing for an empty push pop I threw away pic.twitter.com/aGBOh9jAxd — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 15 oktober 2016
5. De. Hel.
You haven’t known suffering until you’ve taken a 2-year-old shopping for a birthday gift that isn’t for them.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) 3 september 2016
6. Ware liefde
I know my 2yo loves me because I’m the one he runs to when he’s stuffed too much food in his mouth and needs to spit it into someone’s hand.
— Missy (@MamaFizzles) 23 februari 2017
7. Zo schattig (NOT)
Our 2-year-old has reached that adorable milestone where he communicates through unintelligible words, screaming, and physical violence.
— Ramblin’ Mama (@ramblinma) 3 mei 2016
8. En bedankt
Just fell down the basement stairs. My 2-year-old saw it and was concerned, so he walked down to kiss it better – and stepped on my balls.
— Aaron Gouveia (@DaddyFiles) 12 april 2016
9. Gaat gewoon niet gebeuren
Telling a 2 year old “Don’t make a mess” is like asking me to give up wine. It just ain’t gonna happen.
— MommieKnowsfresh (@MommieKnwsFresh) 8 april 2015
10. Doe haar nog maar een cappuccino
You know you’re crushing this parenthood thing when one of your kids says your 2 year old is drinking coffee and you don’t even investigate.
— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) 30 januari 2016
11. “Waar ben je nou gebleeeeeven?” Zucht.
How a 2.833333 year old plays hide and seek. If I can’t see her face, she must not exist right? #SchrodingersKid pic.twitter.com/8CTYAh1wor
— Brachmann (@VivaBrachmann) 30 november 2016
12. Iets met een grote mond…
Snapchat brings out the true essence of my 2yo. pic.twitter.com/NduXAa1X9j
— Missy (@MamaFizzles) 18 februari 2017
13. Maar dan zonder kater, ideaal eigenlijk
Child’s new thing is to spin in circles till he’s dizzy and falls down. This is the 2 year old equivalent of going to the bar.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) 24 oktober 2016
14. Klinkt hetzelfde, toch?
I guess “please poop on the potty” sounds like “please poop on the coffee table” to my 2-year old son.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) 17 augustus 2015
15. Tja…
I told my 2-year-old to get toilet paper to wipe her nose
She grabbed half a square I told her to get a big piece She came back with this pic.twitter.com/0X0lzH5Xmu — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 18 december 2016
16. Het bestaat gewoon niet
Want to know what privacy looks like when you have a 2 year old? This. pic.twitter.com/4Y1jfvhvpN
— Brachmann (@VivaBrachmann) 18 september 2016
17. Was het maar zo’n feest
Doorbell just rang. My 2 year old:”oh! It’s chocolate!” I like the way you think, sister.
— Stephanie Rodham (@StephDsays) 11 oktober 2016
18. We zijn er hoor!
After 10 hrs of flying, my 2-year-old emerged from the plane, ripped off her diaper and peed on the tarmac. Girl knows how to make a splash!
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) 24 april 2016
19. Fijne verjaardag nog!
My dad gave my 2-year-old a birthday candle to lick. He ate it instead. And then threw up on grandpa. Happy birthday! #parenting #Family
— Aaron Gouveia (@DaddyFiles) 17 april 2016
20. Eindeloze discussies
My 2-year-old threw a fit because I didn’t let her wear two shoes on the same foot.
I’m no longer sure which of us is being unreasonable. — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 20 februari 2017
21. Héérlijk
2-year-old: *offers me imaginary food* Eat it.
Me: Mmmm. Yum. 2: You ate dog poop. — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 19 februari 2017
22. Klein, maar belangrijk verschil
The difference between my 2 year old and a tornado in my living room is that a tornado doesn’t pee on my floor.
— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) 26 februari 2015
Lees ook: Met zijn supergrappige tweets is deze vader de koning van Twitter
(Bron: Huffington Post)
