Wij genieten hier elke week weer van. Weer een heerlijk overzicht van de meest snedige, grappig en bizzare tweets van twitterouders van deze week.
I told my 3-year-old the beans in her taco were chocolate jelly beans and she took 3 whole bites before she decided to never trust me again.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 26, 2017
SON: you’re pretty
SON: even when you just waked up you’re so pretty
SON: can i have Doritos for lunch
ME: there it is
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 16, 2017
My daughter was chasing my son around with a lightsaber and got a little too into it….. pic.twitter.com/LN6ewwqqCS
— Di 🐋✨ (@MommaSmarsh) July 6, 2017
Toddler: *crying bc it isn’t her turn with the princess crown*
Me: Sweetie, you need to share
Husband: Just give her the crown, you’re 35
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 5, 2017
3-year-old: You got your hair cut.
Me: Do you like it?
3: *walks away*
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2017
Me: Let’s go to the store.
5 yo: Why?
M: For food.
M: So we can eat.
M: To stay alive.
M: I have no idea.
— Wretch (@jackiembouvier) January 19, 2017
ME: How are you?
ME: Are you still alive?
ME: I can cut off your phone
CS: Hi Ma love u
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) February 14, 2016
My cousin: [to my kids] omg you guys have grown so much! How old are you now?
6: What’s your wifi password?
— Anna Grace (@graceful_asfuck) July 6, 2016
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Where in the fuck
Is your other shoe?
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) July 4, 2017
I can’t wait until my son is a cool teen who thinks I’m super embarrassing so I can remind him that he used to beg to watch me poop
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) July 3, 2017
LUKE: daddy, what’s my name from?
ME: it’s from the bible
CHEWBACCA: and mine?
ME: umm [sweating] also the bible
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) November 3, 2016
As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids.
— eric (@ericsshadow) September 10, 2016
My Kid: Are dinosaurs real?
Me: yes but they died
Kid: why did you kill them?
M: I didn’t!
Kid: did you forget to water them like our plants
— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) July 18, 2017
I’d like to share a joke with you that my 2yo nephew told me.
2yo: Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there?
2yo: I don’t know.
— Sarah del Rio (@establish1975) August 9, 2015
1day I’ll be thankful my daughter is an independent iron willed human w/an unrelenting strong voice,but not today, not in this grocery store
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) August 31, 2015
Me to child: Don’t think everybody’s pregnant. Some people just look that way
Child to lady: Are you pregnant or do you just look that way?
— Christine Owen (@joymoll) June 14, 2017
my son swims like he’s angry at water
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) June 8, 2017
Sanne (28) woont samen met haar vriend en heeft nog geen kinderen. Die wil ze voorlopig ook nog niet, maar door haar werk bij Me to We komt ze in ieder geval zeer goed beslagen ten ijs als het zover is.