De 17 leukste tweets over het ouderschap van deze week

Wij genieten hier elke week weer van. Weer een heerlijk overzicht van de meest snedige, grappig en bizzare tweets van twitterouders van deze week.  

1.

I told my 3-year-old the beans in her taco were chocolate jelly beans and she took 3 whole bites before she decided to never trust me again.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 26, 2017

2.

SON: you’re pretty

ME: aww

SON: even when you just waked up you’re so pretty

ME: awww

SON: can i have Doritos for lunch

ME: there it is

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 16, 2017

3.

My daughter was chasing my son around with a lightsaber and got a little too into it….. pic.twitter.com/LN6ewwqqCS

— Di 🐋✨ (@MommaSmarsh) July 6, 2017

4.

Toddler: *crying bc it isn’t her turn with the princess crown*

Me: Sweetie, you need to share

Husband: Just give her the crown, you’re 35

— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 5, 2017

5.

3-year-old: You got your hair cut.

Me: Do you like it?

3: *walks away*

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2017

6.

Me: Let’s go to the store.
5 yo: Why?
M: For food.
5: Why?
M: So we can eat.
5: Why?
M: To stay alive.
5: Why?
M: I have no idea.

— Wretch (@jackiembouvier) January 19, 2017

7.

TEXTING 101
ME: Hi
College son:
ME: How are you?
CS:
ME: Are you still alive?
CS: …
CS:
CS:
ME: I can cut off your phone
CS: Hi Ma love u

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) February 14, 2016

8.

My cousin: [to my kids] omg you guys have grown so much! How old are you now?

6: What’s your wifi password?

— Anna Grace (@graceful_asfuck) July 6, 2016

9.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Where in the fuck
Is your other shoe?

— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) July 4, 2017

10.

I can’t wait until my son is a cool teen who thinks I’m super embarrassing so I can remind him that he used to beg to watch me poop

— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) July 3, 2017

11.

LUKE: daddy, what’s my name from?

ME: it’s from the bible

CHEWBACCA: and mine?

ME: umm [sweating] also the bible

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) November 3, 2016

12.

As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids.

— eric (@ericsshadow) September 10, 2016

13.

My Kid: Are dinosaurs real?
Me: yes but they died
Kid: why did you kill them?
M: I didn’t!
Kid: did you forget to water them like our plants

— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) July 18, 2017

14.

I’d like to share a joke with you that my 2yo nephew told me.

2yo: Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there?
2yo: I don’t know.
*leaves

— Sarah del Rio (@establish1975) August 9, 2015

15.

1day I’ll be thankful my daughter is an independent iron willed human w/an unrelenting strong voice,but not today, not in this grocery store

— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) August 31, 2015

16.

Me to child: Don’t think everybody’s pregnant. Some people just look that way

Child to lady: Are you pregnant or do you just look that way?

— Christine Owen (@joymoll) June 14, 2017

17.

my son swims like he’s angry at water

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) June 8, 2017