De 17 leukste tweets over het ouderschap van deze week

I told my 3-year-old the beans in her taco were chocolate jelly beans and she took 3 whole bites before she decided to never trust me again.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 26, 2017

2.

SON: you’re pretty

ME: aww

SON: even when you just waked up you’re so pretty

ME: awww

SON: can i have Doritos for lunch

ME: there it is

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 16, 2017

3.

My daughter was chasing my son around with a lightsaber and got a little too into it….. pic.twitter.com/LN6ewwqqCS

— Di 🐋✨ (@MommaSmarsh) July 6, 2017

4.

Toddler: *crying bc it isn’t her turn with the princess crown*

Me: Sweetie, you need to share

Husband: Just give her the crown, you’re 35

— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 5, 2017

5.

3-year-old: You got your hair cut.

Me: Do you like it?

3: *walks away*

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2017

6.

Me: Let’s go to the store.
5 yo: Why?
M: For food.
5: Why?
M: So we can eat.
5: Why?
M: To stay alive.
5: Why?
M: I have no idea.

— Wretch (@jackiembouvier) January 19, 2017

7.

TEXTING 101
ME: Hi
College son:
ME: How are you?
CS:
ME: Are you still alive?
CS: …
CS:
CS:
ME: I can cut off your phone
CS: Hi Ma love u

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) February 14, 2016

8.

My cousin: [to my kids] omg you guys have grown so much! How old are you now?

6: What’s your wifi password?

— Anna Grace (@graceful_asfuck) July 6, 2016

9.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Where in the fuck
Is your other shoe?

— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) July 4, 2017

10.

I can’t wait until my son is a cool teen who thinks I’m super embarrassing so I can remind him that he used to beg to watch me poop

— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) July 3, 2017

11.

LUKE: daddy, what’s my name from?

ME: it’s from the bible

CHEWBACCA: and mine?

ME: umm [sweating] also the bible

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) November 3, 2016

12.

As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids.

— eric (@ericsshadow) September 10, 2016

13.

My Kid: Are dinosaurs real?
Me: yes but they died
Kid: why did you kill them?
M: I didn’t!
Kid: did you forget to water them like our plants

— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) July 18, 2017

14.

I’d like to share a joke with you that my 2yo nephew told me.

2yo: Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there?
2yo: I don’t know.
*leaves

— Sarah del Rio (@establish1975) August 9, 2015

15.

1day I’ll be thankful my daughter is an independent iron willed human w/an unrelenting strong voice,but not today, not in this grocery store

— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) August 31, 2015

16.

Me to child: Don’t think everybody’s pregnant. Some people just look that way

Child to lady: Are you pregnant or do you just look that way?

— Christine Owen (@joymoll) June 14, 2017

17.

my son swims like he’s angry at water

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) June 8, 2017