Wij genieten hier elke week weer van. Weer een heerlijk overzicht van de meest snedige, grappig en bizzare tweets van twitterouders van deze week.
I told my 3-year-old the beans in her taco were chocolate jelly beans and she took 3 whole bites before she decided to never trust me again.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 26, 2017
SON: you’re pretty
SON: even when you just waked up you’re so pretty
SON: can i have Doritos for lunch
ME: there it is
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 16, 2017
My daughter was chasing my son around with a lightsaber and got a little too into it….. pic.twitter.com/LN6ewwqqCS
— Di 🐋✨ (@MommaSmarsh) July 6, 2017
Toddler: *crying bc it isn’t her turn with the princess crown*
Me: Sweetie, you need to share
Husband: Just give her the crown, you’re 35
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 5, 2017
3-year-old: You got your hair cut.
Me: Do you like it?
3: *walks away*
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2017
Me: Let’s go to the store.
5 yo: Why?
M: For food.
M: So we can eat.
M: To stay alive.
M: I have no idea.
— Wretch (@jackiembouvier) January 19, 2017
ME: How are you?
ME: Are you still alive?
ME: I can cut off your phone
CS: Hi Ma love u
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) February 14, 2016
My cousin: [to my kids] omg you guys have grown so much! How old are you now?
6: What’s your wifi password?
— Anna Grace (@graceful_asfuck) July 6, 2016
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Where in the fuck
Is your other shoe?
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) July 4, 2017
I can’t wait until my son is a cool teen who thinks I’m super embarrassing so I can remind him that he used to beg to watch me poop
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) July 3, 2017
LUKE: daddy, what’s my name from?
ME: it’s from the bible
CHEWBACCA: and mine?
ME: umm [sweating] also the bible
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) November 3, 2016
As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids.
— eric (@ericsshadow) September 10, 2016
My Kid: Are dinosaurs real?
Me: yes but they died
Kid: why did you kill them?
M: I didn’t!
Kid: did you forget to water them like our plants
— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) July 18, 2017
I’d like to share a joke with you that my 2yo nephew told me.
2yo: Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there?
2yo: I don’t know.
— Sarah del Rio (@establish1975) August 9, 2015
1day I’ll be thankful my daughter is an independent iron willed human w/an unrelenting strong voice,but not today, not in this grocery store
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) August 31, 2015
Me to child: Don’t think everybody’s pregnant. Some people just look that way
Child to lady: Are you pregnant or do you just look that way?
— Christine Owen (@joymoll) June 14, 2017
my son swims like he’s angry at water
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) June 8, 2017