Dat Twitter vol staat met tweets van grappige ouders wisten we inmiddels al, maar ook de Twitteraars zonder kinderen kunnen er wat van.
HER: Do you want to have kids?
HER: Why not?
ME: I couldn’t take all the crying
HER: They don’t cry all the time
ME: No, I meant me
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) November 3, 2016
*everybody gasps as I drop the baby*
Oh no was it expensive?
— Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) December 7, 2014
[couple tossing baby back and forth]
judge: custody granted
dad: [holding baby] AW DAMMIT
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) February 22, 2015
oh your son is 73 months old that’s cool i literally i have no idea if he’s five or forty two
— jonbeignet ramsey (@jdelwoo) June 20, 2012
*someone hands me a baby*
Oh… no thank you
*places baby on the ground*
— moody monday (@mdob11) April 25, 2014
“See the majestic falcon flying”
*falcon grabs my baby and carries him away*
“Oh my god NOOO”
— space (@brilliantwit) February 18, 2015
My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) August 7, 2013
WIFE: [handing me crying baby] will u please change him
[drives to hospital]
ME: hi yes my baby is crying can i get a new one
— jomny sun (@jonnysun) August 15, 2016
My neighbors have both a howling dog and a screaming baby out in their yard. I’d throw a rock or something but I’m afraid I’d hit the dog.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) February 21, 2011
*pats crying child on the back*
*child keeps crying*
“Did you not just hear when I said, ‘There, there’? Shut up, already”
— It’s Abby. Yep. (@abbycohenwl) December 18, 2014
There is a drinking game where you drink every time a kid annoys you. It’s called “parenting.”
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) December 30, 2012
“You don’t want children? That’s selfish!”
“It IS? I’d better get a vasectomy so I don’t pass on my selfish genes!”
— Zach Weinersmith (@ZachWeiner) January 18, 2016
Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed.
Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter.
— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 5, 2015
Friend: [showing baby photos]
Me: Ah yes, very baby
— moody monday (@mdob11) August 15, 2015
me: i dont want any kids
person: *low chuckle* oh, you’ll change your mind.
me: *grabs them by collar* tell me more about the future, wizard
— KING RAINHEAD (@KingRainhead) September 4, 2014
A horror film about a creature that grows in a woman, comes out and follows her around for 18 yrs telling her she’s fat and begging for gum.
— Amber (@ambamthankyamam) May 19, 2013
Have you talked to YOUR doctor about Baby Fever? Side effects may include poverty, poorness, brokeitude
— Paul Jay (@pauljaycomic) May 19, 2013
“Mommy, where do babies come from?”
“Well, when two people hate themselves, and want to never have fun again or achieve their dreams…”
— charles sizemore (@ChuckSize) May 2, 2014
Lees ook: Deze ouders hielden zich niet in op Twitter.
Sanne (28) woont samen met haar vriend en heeft nog geen kinderen. Die wil ze voorlopig ook nog niet, maar door haar werk bij Me to We komt ze in ieder geval zeer goed beslagen ten ijs als het zover is.