Wij kunnen geen genoeg krijgen van de grappige ouders van Twitter. Of het nou gaat om de school die weer is begonnen, proberen te eten met kinderen in de buurt, of dat je je peuter moet uitleggen dat hij de kamerplanten niet mag opeten. Deze ouders weten er hilarisch verslag van te leggen.
Me: Wake up.
5-year-old: It’s too bright.
Me: It’s morning.
5: No thanks.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) August 24, 2017
No One Listens Until I Yell: the name of my parenting memoir.
— Jen Simon (@NoSleepInBklyn) August 24, 2017
When I pictured myself having kids, there was a lot less screaming from everyone and way more time to take a shower.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) August 23, 2017
Fun first day of school photo idea: take it on the second day of school because you forgot how much angry yelling happens on the first day.
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) August 22, 2017
Oh, you know, just trying to get comfy in the 3 inch space at the foot of MY king size bed that the children generously allowed me tonight.
— here comes the son (@idtweetforever) August 24, 2017
Preschool form: When you need your child’s attention, s/he responds well to:
Me: No idea. Can you lemme know if you stumble onto something?
— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) August 23, 2017
Parenthood is waking up feeling like a normal person, then realizing you’re pulling clean underwear from a drawer full of tiny human teeth.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) August 22, 2017
I have a solar eclipse every two minutes inside my living room ever since my toddler learned how to open & close the blinds.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 20, 2017
Doing an afternoon craft with my toddlers, more commonly known as “whose fucking stupid idea was this?”
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) August 22, 2017
*Starts cutting the chicken of the person next to me at a dinner party out of habit*
— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 22, 2017
Today, 2 is mad at me because I couldn’t carry him to the car while also holding my bag, my coffee, and the 3,417 items he wanted to bring.
— MumMumMommy ♀️ (@tinyandtired) August 23, 2017
“We don’t eat houseplants!”
Toddlers are fun.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 22, 2017
My daughter’s preschool celebrated #Eclipse2017 on total lockdown because of the 100% chance of toddlers not following instructions.
— La Guardia Cross (@LaGuardiaCross) August 21, 2017
SON: MOMMA IS IT STILL MORNING
SON: CUZ IT FEELS LIKE I’VE BEEN UP FOR A LONG TIME
ME: trust me I know
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) August 23, 2017
8: What’s being a dad like?
Me: Like a roller coaster that never stops
8: What’s being married like?
M: Same thing but without a safety bar
— Mehdieval Times (@TheAlexNevil) August 22, 2017
I’ve got 99 meal options but my kid hates every one.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) August 24, 2017
I always thought passcodes on phones were for if they got stolen, but they’re really just to keep your kids out.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) August 24, 2017
It’s all fun & games until your kid comes home from their first day of school & says “fundraiser.”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 22, 2017
Starting to think my kid’s dinosaur yearns for something more. pic.twitter.com/64wJRdQK5V
— dadpression (@Dadpression) August 20, 2017
My baby is so sweet. She woke up 2hrs earlier than normal cause she knows it’s my day off & wants me 2 b awake 4 every single hour of it.
— Audra McDonald (@AudraEqualityMc) August 20, 2017
Let’s have kids so that we can sign them up for sports and wake up way too early on the weekend to go to tournaments.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 19, 2017
Me: How does an astronaut cut his hair?
Me: Eclipse it!
6yo: **blank stare**
Me: I’ll be here all week.
6yo: I know.
— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) August 22, 2017
I told my toddler we can’t talk in church so she started gesturing wildly, yelling, “SHHHHHH! NO TALKING!!!!” at the pastor.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) August 21, 2017
5y.o: “What’s for dinner?”
Me: “It’s veg-”
5: “-I don’t want it.”
Me: “I didn’t even get to say it.”
5: “It wasn’t going anywhere good.”
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 19, 2017
(Bron: Huffington Post)